You've got the makings here of a great animated short. Just one thing before I offer up some tweaks; there's no mention of helium balloons in your script; I assume then, that, in the Elf-room, giant helium balloons are being inhaled by luckless interns to give them their squeaky voices?
So, my thoughts are that nothing should reveal the true nature of the warehouse and its function until we learn what is behind the door. This means that the intern cannot know that he's been selected to be 'Santa's Little Helper' - just that he's been selected to participate in an internship with a World Famous Distribution Company. I think the character that meets him when he first arrives can be just an officious PA-type character (not everyone who works for Santa would be an elf, after all, as he would need some a team of people as a front for the organisation). While your story might start with our main character receiving news of his selection, the moment he arrives at the 'Distribution Centre', we need to be introduced to the interns, because it's their disappearance that will drive the second act. In character design terms, this is a great opportunity to work with lots of clear, strong shapes, so all the interns are nicely characterful, even though they won't be on screen for long.
To make this work, your script needs to tight, and suspenseful and funny. Time to get started.
OGR 21/01/16
ReplyDeleteHi Beckie,
You've got the makings here of a great animated short. Just one thing before I offer up some tweaks; there's no mention of helium balloons in your script; I assume then, that, in the Elf-room, giant helium balloons are being inhaled by luckless interns to give them their squeaky voices?
So, my thoughts are that nothing should reveal the true nature of the warehouse and its function until we learn what is behind the door. This means that the intern cannot know that he's been selected to be 'Santa's Little Helper' - just that he's been selected to participate in an internship with a World Famous Distribution Company. I think the character that meets him when he first arrives can be just an officious PA-type character (not everyone who works for Santa would be an elf, after all, as he would need some a team of people as a front for the organisation). While your story might start with our main character receiving news of his selection, the moment he arrives at the 'Distribution Centre', we need to be introduced to the interns, because it's their disappearance that will drive the second act. In character design terms, this is a great opportunity to work with lots of clear, strong shapes, so all the interns are nicely characterful, even though they won't be on screen for long.
To make this work, your script needs to tight, and suspenseful and funny. Time to get started.