Reads well - but I still think that showing the 'elf' versions is a giveaway - and also lends running time to your story. If you were to accelerate the mid-section - with the interns just being 'hooked off' screen and Jake being the none the wiser of their fates - until the big reveal, I think you'd have more of an impactful ending, and things would move more quickly too.
Reads well - but I still think that showing the 'elf' versions is a giveaway - and also lends running time to your story. If you were to accelerate the mid-section - with the interns just being 'hooked off' screen and Jake being the none the wiser of their fates - until the big reveal, I think you'd have more of an impactful ending, and things would move more quickly too.
ReplyDeleteOkay Phil. Thanks for that, I was wondering that myself so I'll chop that out and hopefully it'll be a bit smoother as you say!
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