Friday 29 January 2016

@Phil | 1st Draft of Script | From Script to Screen




2 comments:

  1. Reads well - but I still think that showing the 'elf' versions is a giveaway - and also lends running time to your story. If you were to accelerate the mid-section - with the interns just being 'hooked off' screen and Jake being the none the wiser of their fates - until the big reveal, I think you'd have more of an impactful ending, and things would move more quickly too.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Okay Phil. Thanks for that, I was wondering that myself so I'll chop that out and hopefully it'll be a bit smoother as you say!

    ReplyDelete